Grownup Stuff

It has been roughly four months since my last post. In the time between my last entry and today, life has been more than a little interesting. My wife had surgery, my uncle was diagnosed with cancer, I changed jobs and lost (what I thought was) a good friend and mentor in the process and this weekend I get to coordinate calendars with my Dad so I can be with him when he visits a neurologist to determine whether he has early stage Alzheimer's or early stage dementia. Last month we also had to euthanize our beloved family pet, Nantucket, a 15+ year-old border collie mix who has been part of this family even before my wife and I were wed. In short, life hasn't exactly been a picnic.  

The stress and strain of these past few months have, however, yielded some positive results. I'm now working for a great company and challenging myself in new ways, while at the same time gaining the ability to have breakfast AND dinner with my kids. (Something I haven't been able to do in years.) My relationship with God has been challenged, strengthened and taken to a new level... evolving from having faith in Him to having absolute trust in Him. But perhaps most importantly, my marriage is stronger than ever. Wrestling with some of these challenges, combined with the fact that I needed to take care of my wife AND my kids while she recovered from surgery, helped me to realize just how much it takes on a day-to-day basis to keep this family going. I am both awed and profoundly grateful.

This has been a long winter in more ways than one and, like all New Englanders, Spring's arrival is always just in the nick of time. For those of you who do not live in the northeast, it's important to note that the seasonal shifts are always a cause for celebration... particularly the Winter-to-Spring transition. The first 60-degree day is glorious. It's a time when yardwork begins, windows are opened and thoughts turn toward a full schedule of outdoor activities and vacation plans. It is, in short, miraculous.

After enduring a week of torrential rain, long meetings and numerous trips to the pediatrician's office, it seemed that our favorite local meteorologist had some good news on the horizon. Despite the fact that Saturday was technically still winter, we had a better-than-average shot at breaking 70 degrees. As fate would have it, there was also a Tweetup scheduled atThe Beachmere Inn - a sprawling slice of heaven situated right on the Marginal Way in Maine. My family was in desperate need of a getaway so it took all of a nanosecond to make the decision. Call the Beachmere. Book the room. Pack the bags.

We decided to keep the weekend jaunt a surprise for the kids, so as the bus dropped them off on Friday afternoon, the car was already packed and loaded. As soon as I wrapped-up my last conference call for the day, we pointed the van north and embarked upon our mini-vacation. The drive passed relatively quickly and 45-minutes after arriving at the hotel everyone was in their bed and fast asleep.

The next morning, I was wide awake and out of bed before 6:00 a.m. I peered out the window and it was still dark, but the first few purple shards of daybreak were starting to appear on the expansive horizon over the Atlantic. My daughter was the next to greet the day and she silently glided from her bed to my side and joined me at the window. A few moments later, my oldest son joined the party. I told them to bundle up and find their shoes and in short order we were outside and heading down The Beachmere's rolling lawns to the rocky coastline. We opened the gate, crossed the Marginal Way and sat on a bench and watched the sunrise. There wasn't an awful lot of conversation - something of an anomaly in this family of talkers - but the sound of the waves breaking against the shore, combined with the occasional call of a gull, served as the perfect soundtrack to the beginning of a beautiful day.

A few hours later, everyone was showered, dressed and ready to begin our daylong adventures in Maine. The skies were blue, the mercury was climbing steadily and we were all ready to be outdoors for a good long while... until my youngest son decided to get sick. All of the kids had been fighting various forms of illness this week - ranging from stomach bugs to sinus infections - but everyone appeared to be on the mend. Sam's remarkable display of infant upchuck skills, however, proved otherwise. So instead of heading out for a family adventure, we returned to the hotel room to hose off our gooey baby and play the all-to-familiar game of "divide and conquer." I hung out in the hotel room with Sam to ensue he was okay while my wife took the other two kiddos for a walk. When she returned, it was my turn to go out with the healthy kids so we hit the hot tub, went for a climb on the rocks and yet another long walk. And so it went for the remainder of the afternoon.

Granted, it wasn't the picture-perfect vacation we had hoped for. However, the baby appeared to be feeling better after his morning bout with sickness and we still had our other planned activities. My wife was especially looking forward to a chocolate and wine tasting party in the afternoon and I couldn't wait for the evening barbecue. No problem... until my daughter got sick. 

Just as we were getting ready to indulge our sweet tooth at the chocolate tasting, my girl began complaining of a stomach ache. The complaining soon gave way to crying so we decided to pop in a DVD and relax until dinner. Again we did the divide-and-conquer... this time my oldest son and I drove to the beach for a stroll in the surf and an opportunity to catch the last warm rays of sunlight for the afternoon while my wife comforted my daughter and held down the fort.

Later that day my wife and I would continue the turn-taking by alternatively hanging out with fellow Tweeps (a warm and wonderful group of people who converged on the Beachmere for the Tweetup,) eating dinner and comforting one or more children who were under the weather. By 8:30 p.m. everyone was in PJs. By 9:00 p.m. the TV was off. By 9:30 p.m. all were asleep. (Except, of course, for me.) Tomorrow morning we'll begin the packing and loading process before making the return trip home.

Nothing went exactly as planned today but we still managed to have a good time... even the sick kiddos appeared to have fun. So as I write this entry - the sound of surf breaking in the distance intertwining with the slow, rhythmic breathing of my sleeping children - it occurred to me that there's an odd symmetry between the events of today and the events of the past few months. No matter how hard one may try, no matter how well-intentioned a soul may be, life will invariably throw a curve ball or two your way. You can slip into "woe is me" mode, or you can choose to tune-in to the blessings around you and make the very best of the situation.

As I close the book on today and gear-up for another long and busy workweek, the standout memories will not be the sick children or thwarted plans for relaxation. Instead, there are some wonderful moments that will be burned into my psyche: a breathtaking sunrise shared with my children, an innkeeper and business owner who treated us like family from the moment we set foot on her resort and the feeling of absolute gratitude that for every bump in the road there are dozens of blessings.

Comments

[Kristen]

I love you and your family...dear "old" friend.

[Rich S.]

Wow, Marc, would not have known in any way from you and your family's attitude and demeanor that your lives had so many recent upheavals. Here's hoping the episodes of enjoyment you experienced this weekend are the beginning of an long-running series of standout moments for all of you.

[Dan]

Sorry to hear about some of the difficulties you've been facing. As the old saying goes: "When life gives us lemons, we make lemonade." It sure seems like you've heeded that advice as evidenced by the fun (and sometimes frustrating) weekend you and your family had.

Thanks for sharing a piece of your life, sounds like you are blessed in many ways.