Perspective

It's official: I am now squarely stuck in one of those hamster wheel / Groundhog Day ruts. First I was having "one of those days." Three days later I chalked it up to having a bad few days. Last week I decided that I was having a bad week. As I left the office yesterday and noticed a flat tire, I began to get suspicious. As I was considering my late night tire shop options, I fielded a phone call from my boss and learned that yet another one of my projects was taking a step backwards. It was then that I resigned myself to the fact that I'm in one of those "running to stand still" cycles.

At times like this I try to think of King Solomon, telling myself that "this too shall pass." I love my job, I love my company and I have some truly wonderful co-workers. I'm happy with my pay. I'm happy with the variety of work that I'm doing. I truly am blessed and have so much to be thankful for... especially in this economy. However, after months of late night and early morning work, I feel like I should be accomplishing much more. Lately almost every project that I've touched has either been delayed, postponed or simply died on the vine. When I do accomplish those minor victories of pushing something across the finish line, another couple of big projects land on my plate. It's very frustrating.

So there's the double-edged sword of being passionate about your career. When you pour so much of yourself into your job, you take these bumps in the road rather seriously. From a purely logical point of view, I understand that the events of the past several weeks are simply the tacks and course corrections of business... all activities which are particularly common and frequent in technology companies. When I'm in the moment, however, it's tough not to begin second-guessing myself. Did I do something wrong? Am I working on the wrong things? Are my strategies off-base? It's maddening.

Still-and-all, I wouldn't trade this for the world. I would much rather have everything that comes with loving my career - ups and downs, highs and lows - than simply wake up every morning, put in my eight hours and collect a check. I know that the log jam of projects will eventually break free, that the obstacles will turn into opportunities and that the 60-70 hour weeks will ultimately generate positive results. Getting there can be a challenge some days (or weeks, or months) but the journey is never dull. The trick is to learn something along the way.

And now, as I glance at the clock on my Mac, I'm learning that I'll be late if I don't hop in the shower and get out of here. Have a good day, all.